Monday, August 25, 2008

And the List Grows...

Accidents and mistakes I have blamed on having low-blood sugar.

1)Fell up the stairs.
2)Fell down the stairs.
3)Fell out of the shower.
4.Burned myself on hot tea.
5.Spilled a glass of tea at a restaurant.
6.Left a size tag on the side of my pants.
7.Called a woman by her recently dead sister's name.
8.Cut myself with an exacto-knife.
9.Flipped off my history professor.
10.Dropped an f-bomb in front of little children.
11.Dropped an f-bomb in front of the board of directors of my grad. school.
12.Shaved my head.
13.Bought a Nelly Furtado c.d.
14.Cut my finger on a copier.
15.Cut my finger on a door handle.
16.Cut my finger with a lady's razer.
17.Ripped my messenger bag on a spiraling stairway.
18.Sent a mother's day card to my mom on her birthday.
19.Voted for Ross Perot.
20.Watched Joel Osteen for 20 minutes.
21.Broke my glasses in half while cleaning them.
22.Googled my name.
23.Mistook "intimate" with "Entenmann's".
24.Overfilled the gas tank.
25.Burned my arm on a pizza oven.
26.Slipped and fell in dog urine.
27.Left an ink pen in my pocket during a wash.
28.Cut my foot on a broken piece of casserole dish.
29.Dropped Moby Dick in a toilet.
30.Dropped an heirloom down a sink.
31.Dropped my back pack on a power-strip cutting off a speaker's microphone.
32.Opened a door I shouldn't have.
33.Memorized the words to the Llama song.
34.Tripped over a garden hose falling on concrete.
35.Tripped over a floor fan in a restaurant.
36.Stepped on a four-year-old's head.
37.Plugged my laptop's power cord into an outlet with wet hands.
38.Almost impaled by a jagged tree branch during a wind storm.
39.Almost decapitated myself on a wooden roller coaster.
40.Thought my fiance would find the song, "Like a Parasite," romantic.
41.Trial subscription to Time.
42.Mistook hazard lights on a pickup for a right turn signal.
43.Bought a fiddle.
44.Weed eating for twenty minutes without the string.
45.Stepped on the sharpened eat of an arrow's head.
46.Mispronounced Fuddruckers.
47.Cursed at the end of a prayer.
48.Walked up to the stage in high school to receive an award I was not announced to get.
49.Walked into a closed door.
50.Posted a blog full of my faults, mistakes, and accidents.

My sugar's low. I need a snack.


Alicia said...

Very funny! Low blood sugar...hmmm...I'll have to try that one.

Amy said...

Number 40 was a grievous error.

Amy said...

There was supposed to be a new post up today...hmmm.

alicia said...

B.J.! I'm back to reading your blog! I've been out of the loop for a while, but I'm here. Make me laugh...
And if you can't get on my new blog send me your email address, I'll send you the invite. I hope all is well.